Liberty Unleashed

Off Topic => Spam => Topic started by: Golden Gun on September 22, 2007, 11:40:41 pm

Title: My Poems
Post by: Golden Gun on September 22, 2007, 11:40:41 pm
Here is some Poems that I've done latly

Money can't buy life
So close your purse
Think about it and enyoy your wife
Or you might end up with a nurse

Started that one with a quote from Bob Marley.


We don't know evrything
Even if we think so
Cause there will alyaws be a lastthing
And then evrybody says no

Just maked that one in a few minutes. It like come with.

We always have hope.
Even if sometimes it's hard to find.
Your legs feels like soap.
But looking for it in your mind.

Honestly the soap dosn't really fit in. I will change it soon.

You continue the fight.
Holding an flame in you hand.
It's flashing like a big Light.
But suddenly it converts to sand.

And you are in the middle of the Night.
So you lose the war and your land.
But still you think you fight for the right.
So your soliders stands together tight.

and waiting for you to lead them to victory.

My longest free verse in english so far.


What do you think? Am I good or do I suck? Please comment!
Title: Re: My Poems
Post by: Dobi on September 23, 2007, 12:40:21 pm
niiiiceeee!!!  ;)
Title: Re: My Poems
Post by: Golden Gun on September 24, 2007, 05:02:55 pm
niiiiceeee!!!  ;)
Thanks man. I have made better, but cause I am the only one that can Swedish here, So is there no need to post them :P
Title: Re: My Poems
Post by: Dobi on September 25, 2007, 01:44:13 pm
You know man, sometimes I watch Formula1 and there is 1 racer that I hate. His name is Fernando Alonso and he sucks. I'll be very happy if you think up a "nicely poem" with very """good""" words about that guy.  8)
Title: Re: My Poems
Post by: Golden Gun on September 26, 2007, 04:36:35 pm
You know man, sometimes I watch Formula1 and there is 1 racer that I hate. His name is Fernando Alonso and he sucks. I'll be very happy if you think up a "nicely poem" with very """good""" words about that guy.  8)

Ok you might think that I am a retard or something but what is Formula1? is that fast kind of racing?

Anyway you want me to be sarcastic or something about him?
Title: Re: My Poems
Post by: Golden Gun on September 26, 2007, 04:43:17 pm
Fernando Alonso crash his car.
the day after he was drunk .
After a long night in the bar.
Looking for girls but ended up with a runk.

What about that one? Not really kind :P


Fernando Alonso wanted a get laid.
Watched one girl on the dance floor.
He asked if she wanted to be paid.
She showed him the door.

Just a one minute attempt. Will make an haiku or something when I have more time :P
Title: Re: My Poems
Post by: Dobi on September 26, 2007, 05:53:28 pm
NICE! I like them! And I'll post em in other forums kuz they're not copyrighted!
Title: Re: My Poems
Post by: Golden Gun on September 27, 2007, 04:21:55 pm
NICE! I like them! And I'll post em in other forums kuz they're not copyrighted!

Just mentioned my name, And evrything is fine :P
Title: Re: My Poems
Post by: Dobi on September 28, 2007, 08:48:57 am
ofcourse I'll mentiun it! I'm not stupid or something!

By the way that's Fernando Alonso if u need more information  -------> http://zazz.bg/play:0c11eb2a
And that too --------> http://zazz.bg/play:16e59af5
Title: Re: My Poems
Post by: Golden Gun on September 28, 2007, 03:05:30 pm
ofcourse I'll mentiun it! I'm not stupid or something!

By the way that's Fernando Alonso if u need more information  -------> [url]http://zazz.bg/play:0c11eb2a[/url]
And that too --------> [url]http://zazz.bg/play:16e59af5[/url]


Not cause I understand a damn shit, But anyway.

I made a new one
Fernando Alonso always buy cars in pair
Because his car is always off the way.
Evrytime he crash, he cries in his lair.
And being ther for the rest of the day.



Title: Re: My Poems
Post by: Dobi on September 28, 2007, 05:33:07 pm
The third 1 is good too.
Sorry for that I gived a link to zazz.bg clips. That's a bulgarian clip box. I'm bulgarian too. The next time I'll give a youtube clips :)
Title: Re: My Poems
Post by: Golden Gun on September 28, 2007, 06:06:10 pm
Sorry for that I gived a link to zazz.bg clips. That's a bulgarian clip box. I'm bulgarian too. The next time I'll give a youtube clips :)

No problems, I can live with that :P
Title: Re: My Poems
Post by: BrophY on September 29, 2007, 03:49:23 pm
Poems eh...

FAG
Title: Re: My Poems
Post by: Golden Gun on September 30, 2007, 03:35:01 pm
Poems eh...

FAG

Hey whats wrong with poetry?

The girls love it :P
Title: Re: My Poems
Post by: Dobi on September 30, 2007, 04:16:31 pm
Quote from: Golden Gun
The girls love it :P

Really??? I must learn poetry!
Title: Re: My Poems
Post by: Golden Gun on September 30, 2007, 04:21:44 pm
Really??? I must learn poetry!

I can help you with that.

Title: Re: My Poems
Post by: BrophY on September 30, 2007, 04:33:34 pm
Poems eh...

FAG

Hey whats wrong with poetry?

The girls love it :P

Girls love alot a things
Title: Re: My Poems
Post by: Dobi on September 30, 2007, 06:31:25 pm
Really??? I must learn poetry!

I can help you with that.



REALLY ?? REALLY?? REALLY?? Let's go man!
Title: Re: My Poems
Post by: Golden Gun on September 30, 2007, 08:40:32 pm
Quote
REALLY ?? REALLY?? REALLY?? Let's go man!

First of all you will need to learn some rules. I know they are booring.

My favourite is the Free Verse Another know as; ABAB
Basicly the last word on each sentence should rhyme through the mall ABAB
Example:
Fernando Alonso always buy cars in pair {A}
Because his car is always off the way.  {B}
Evrytime he crash, he cries in his lair. {A}
And being ther for the rest of the day. {B}

Another version of the Free verse is the AABB, It's pretty common in rap and such.
Exapmle:
Don't wait to beat the street {A}
Stay in school and keep your seat {A}
The entire eight parts of speech {B}
Will your reading, writing, and speaking teach! {B}

An advanced version of the Free Verse is the Limericks. It is based on five lines. AABBA
Example:
A flea and a fly in a flue (A)
Were caught, so what could they do? (A)
Said the fly, "Let us flee." (B)
"Let us fly," said the flea. (B)
So they flew through a flaw in the flue. (A)


Lets go to harder ones ;D
The Acrostic.
The rules are simple, Evry sentence should be on a line itself. Evry first letter in evry line should be a word when reading from top to bottom. And the word should connect with the poem itself.
Example:
Vanilla
As I eat it on my brownie
Not doubting it's sweet
Ice cream is a tasty treat
Lots of lingering taste
Lasting to the end
Always my favorite!


Now it's time for some japaneese rhymes.
Haiku, Usually connects to the nature in the subject of the poem, but there is no need for it. All Haiku have three lines. With a fixed number of syllables
Line 1= 5 syllables
Line 2= 7 syllables
Line 3= 5 syllables
Example:
The dying plant bends (5)
And drips its dew to the ground (7)
It falls like a tear (5)

Tanka - The second from japan that I know. Like the Haiku is use Syllables. Harder than the Haiku, and a more advanced poem.
Line 1= 5 syllables
Line 2= 7 syllables
Line 3= 5 syllables
Line 4= 7 syllables, rhymes with line 5
Line 5= 7 syllables, rhymes with line 4
Example:
I have my own place (5)
Where I can go for hours (7)
I go there to write (5)
It is not difficult to find (7) {A}
Search within your heart and mind. (7) {A}

One that I never really had been good at ;)
Cinquain - Based on five lines.
Line 1:Title - 2 syllables
Line 2: Description- 4 syllables
Line 3: Action- 6 syllables
Line 4: Feeling - 8 syllables
Line 5: Synonym for the title - 2 syllables
Example:
Flowers (2)
Pretty, fragrant (4)
Waiting, watching, weeding (6)
Enjoying all the while they grow (8)
Gardens (2)


There is also some kind of poems that are based on the shape. Diamonte poems are one of them. They are built by 7 lines. They following the following rules.
Line 1: Noun or subject
Line 2: Two Adjectives
Line 3: Three 'ing' words
Line 4: Four words about the subject
Line 5: Three 'ing words
Line 6: Two adjectives
Line 7: Synonym for the subject
Example:
Home
Safe, caring
Loving, sharing, talking
Friendship, food, car, travels
Living, loving, enjoying
Joyous, adventurous
Family

There are a lot more poems rules out there, But them are the only ones that I remember in my head for the moment. A long read I know :P
Title: Re: My Poems
Post by: Dobi on September 30, 2007, 09:44:14 pm
Sorry, in my country was a storm and my 'net connection was pissed out for a while and I'm start reading this right now :(
Title: Re: My Poems
Post by: Dobi on October 01, 2007, 07:40:18 am
Thanx, man! I'll practice. Anyway, do you have some expirience with girls? I'm (maybe) the youngest member of this forum and my time to find a GF is now. I'm 14 years old, BTW. My birth was on 2 July 1993 and I had a birthday a 2 months ago.
Title: Re: My Poems
Post by: BrophY on October 01, 2007, 01:29:24 pm
Omg, I should of guessed your ages, poems for 'girls', hormones flowing!
Title: Re: My Poems
Post by: Golden Gun on October 01, 2007, 04:37:37 pm
Thanx, man! I'll practice. Anyway, do you have some expirience with girls? I'm (maybe) the youngest member of this forum and my time to find a GF is now. I'm 14 years old, BTW. My birth was on 2 July 1993 and I had a birthday a 2 months ago.

Trust me there could be more....
Anyway I am still at my first girlfriend, Have been togheter for the last three months, Thing are going well for me.
I am 15 so my experience isn't very high with them...


Omg, I should of guessed your ages, poems for 'girls', hormones flowing!
My hormones want to flow.
I know only one of them can win.
They want out and Blow.
And that is a sin.




Title: Re: My Poems
Post by: Dobi on October 01, 2007, 04:40:54 pm
YAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  ;D

1 friend of mine had a girl in his dreams when he was 3 years old! That friend is a bulgarian too :P ;)
Title: Re: My Poems
Post by: Golden Gun on October 01, 2007, 05:08:08 pm
BrophY is having an orgasm.
But only in his dreams.
This is my way of sarcasm.
And all the girls he touch, screams.


Sorry BrophY, But I just couldn't resist.
Title: Re: My Poems
Post by: Dobi on October 01, 2007, 05:55:35 pm
BrophY is having an orgasm.
But only in his dreams.
This is my way of sarcasm.
And all the girls he touch, screams.


Sorry BrophY, But I just couldn't resist.


Mwahahah! Another good "poem"!

By the way here are my first rimes ever:

Tommy and his new gun :P

Tommy Vercetti
in Vice City
kills people for fun
with his new gun


Alonso vs. Schumy

Alonso always lies
"Schumy didn't win the prize!"
He is so envious
and super vicious
high speed disaster
kuz Schumy is a F1 master
Title: Re: My Poems
Post by: BrophY on October 01, 2007, 07:08:12 pm
I cant wait to see you look back on these poems once you have got past first base rofl
Title: Re: My Poems
Post by: Golden Gun on October 01, 2007, 07:24:10 pm
Ok I am going to analize tyour poem.

Tommy Vercetti
in Vice City
kills people for fun
with his new gun

This poem, Only rhymes at the two last. Fun and gun rhymes.
Cetti and citty dosn't. Anyway good attempt. For being on a first try.

Tommy Vercetti in his town.
Shooting people down.
Just for fun.
With his new gun.

Just changed it so it rhymes by the pattern AABB

Alonso always lies
"Schumy didn't win the prize!"
He is so envious
and super vicious
high speed disaster
kuz Schumy is a F1 master
[/i]
Techincally this one is good. A short rap type.

I also forgott to mentioned that all poetry or poems always are written in itallic. I don't really know why, I guess it's a classic thing to do.



Some new ones...
I want to hold you tight honey.
But I ain't got the money.
So you don't get paid.
And I don't get laid.


I want to be your lover.
I want to give you some flowers.
But you always take cover.
Don't be afraid of the love power.


It's night and I sitting in your tree.
Singin that I want to be your.
Claoming that my love to you is Free.
But you keep me outsied the door.




Title: Re: My Poems
Post by: Stoku on October 04, 2007, 02:26:14 pm
Nice poems. But really im dont reading poems. Im only making RAP and Hip Hop songs:P
Title: Re: My Poems
Post by: Golden Gun on October 07, 2007, 04:42:42 pm
Nice poems. But really im dont reading poems. Im only making RAP and Hip Hop songs:P

I want to say to you that a normal Rap song is a song based on poetry. Just not an normal rhyme pattern or rythm in the lines, That is in the basics. But the difference is the way the text is showed to the people. Normaly rapper is a cool guy that just want to be though, And a poetry man is an old man or a gay. (No offense to anyone but that is what I'va had notice) I listen to rap, the old rap from the 80s cause I think that the new one, Is having to much, wannabee in it. No feeling, They don't know what they sing and that is something I really get mad at. I don't listen to so very much rap though, Prefer more soft metal, or more rock.
Title: Re: My Poems
Post by: Stoku on October 08, 2007, 03:31:02 pm
Im listening to 2PAC, Eazy-E, Ice Cube etc. And from Poland im only listening to beginning crews from my city. Begin of polish rap in poland is in about 1991 and hip hop about 1992-1993. Now im listening to underground hip hop from my city B) -8 niebo(8 sky in english :P ).
Title: Re: My Poems
Post by: Golden Gun on October 08, 2007, 07:31:52 pm
Im listening to 2PAC, Eazy-E, Ice Cube etc. And from Poland im only listening to beginning crews from my city. Begin of polish rap in poland is in about 1991 and hip hop about 1992-1993. Now im listening to underground hip hop from my city B) -8 niebo(8 sky in english :P ).

I listen to almost evrything, Post evrything here would take to much long time so evrything between Barry White and Judas Priest are my music styles. Almost evrything execpt pop and thechno.

Anyway arn't we getting a little bit offtopic here?
Title: Re: My Poems
Post by: Dobi on October 09, 2007, 07:48:56 am
Yes, we're getting offtopic... I want Golden's poems!
Title: Re: My Poems
Post by: Golden Gun on October 10, 2007, 10:13:18 pm
I wanted a wife.
But she had a Knife.
And tooked my Life.


I've forgott about that class ninjashark.
Three sentence's with a rhyme on each one.
a
a
a

They can continue with a way more rhymes. But keep in mind that all should rhyme and having short sentence's.




Title: Re: My Poems
Post by: Golden Gun on October 28, 2007, 08:38:35 pm
*Bumping*

For a MMORPG that I am playing...
The goblins will expire today
The Undead starts to pray
Humans will very soon pay
In the end, Elves will stay
And so will it be, Day after day
[/i]

Ten minutes entry

It's time to use the armor of leather.
Going in for battles, and destruction.
So it's time to raise the Feather.
Only cause someone wants some action.


Title: Re: My Poems
Post by: Dobi on November 11, 2007, 12:26:44 pm

Kill Bill
By ninjashark

There is a person that I want to kill.
His name is Bill.
He got Microsoft and some shits,
selling Windows Vista to stupid kids.

That motherfu**er
made my PC suffer
from his stupid updates,
made by Bill Gates.

But that suffer wasn't forever
kuz I was so clever
I formated the first partition
and that ended his stupid competition

Now my PC is with Windows XP
that came from an illigal CD
and now I know 1 thing - never install updates
made by the fu**ing Bill Gates

Title: Re: My Poems
Post by: Golden Gun on November 11, 2007, 01:06:55 pm
It's great ninjashark, It has the thing that a real poem shall have... Feeling. It sounds like you really belives what you wrote and that thoose words comes from your heart, that it was making a poem good.
No need to have all rhymes right then.

This night, I was dreaming this...

Your Blonde Hair is Swingin in the Air.
What I've Feel is true, They are Real.
This isn't Fair, We should be a Pair.
So please Peel off your wall of steel.

You can't hide, Please come to my side.
It is near, I whisper in your ear.
It is Wide, but please leave your Pride.
You can't Fear, be strong as the Bear.

So take me, I will always be yours.
[/u]

I think that is the first time in my life, that I dream at english, I don't know why.
But today when I wooked up, and looked at the paper that I wroted during the night, I saw, how advanced the rymes was. And techinaly it's the best poem I ever wrote.
Title: Re: My Poems
Post by: Dobi on November 11, 2007, 01:13:02 pm
It's great ninjashark, It has the thing that a real poem shall have... Feeling. It sounds like you really belives what you wrote and that thoose words comes from your heart, that it was making a poem good.
No need to have all rhymes right then.

Thx, I that really comes from my heart kuz the things in my last poem really happend to me. I mean to my PC.
Yeah, that's an important thing, ya know, but you didn't taught me about it when I asked you to learn me some poetry. The good new is that I discoverd that thing my self
Title: Re: My Poems
Post by: Golden Gun on November 11, 2007, 07:03:25 pm
but you didn't taught me about it when I asked you to learn me some poetry.

Some things, can't be learned by an teacher, it must come from the student itself, Feeling in poems is one of thoose things. Writing a poem is easy, share your feelings with an Poem is hard. Writing an perfect poem is very hard, cause then you must have the feeling, the readers must feel the same feel as you when reading, and it should also follow any kind of the poem rules.

Discovering it yourself is a neccesary thing to do, Follow the rules are the basics, they must be learned in the begginning, and when the feelings arrive, it's possible to analyse them deep. They mean something then, it's just great.

I would say that it's the difference between an "Advanced Rhyme / Verse or an "true Poem / Poetry"
A Rhyme is easy to do.
It's harder to share the feelings with you.

I think you got it, But still practise on the rules, cause if you ever write many poems in the future, you will need to follow the rules, especially rhyming, cause of some reason people has easier to remember a poem that rhymes, than one that dosn't. Also it looks more proffesional if you do.

But remember to keep the Feel
Title: Re: My Poems
Post by: BrophY on November 11, 2007, 07:27:51 pm
FAGS
Title: Re: My Poems
Post by: Golden Gun on November 12, 2007, 04:37:11 pm
You are just to young to Understand BrophY.
Title: Re: My Poems
Post by: BrophY on November 12, 2007, 06:32:09 pm
at 21 im old enough to understand that this is gay
Title: Re: My Poems
Post by: Golden Gun on November 12, 2007, 07:22:14 pm
You just don't have the same cultural experience as me...
No offense but mostly persons that claims down on people that write poems, are just not smart enough to understand them...
Title: Re: My Poems
Post by: BrophY on November 13, 2007, 04:03:45 pm
gay

thats from everyone in irc (including vrocker :o)
Title: Re: My Poems
Post by: Golden Gun on November 13, 2007, 08:49:31 pm
You shouldn't call me gay!
One day I gonna make you Pay!
If you then will be in my way!


You can't see
But I don't blame you for that
you are just a guy that know how to eat and pee
You arn't more than a rat


Title: Re: My Poems
Post by: Dobi on November 14, 2007, 03:19:04 pm
1st - My "teacher" is right
2nd - I'm not a gay, for your information
Title: Re: My Poems
Post by: Golden Gun on November 14, 2007, 04:03:09 pm
Also BrophY you might think abut this!
Why is an poetryTopicthe most popular Topic at this Forum???
Give me an answer on that!
Title: Re: My Poems
Post by: BrophY on November 14, 2007, 05:06:12 pm
Also BrophY you might think abut this!
Why is an poetryTopicthe most popular Topic at this Forum???
Give me an answer on that!

Cuz you and your little buddies are post whores, contradictory to what people say, a higher post count doesnt make your penis any bigger also we never called you gay, we called POEMS gay
Title: Re: My Poems
Post by: Golden Gun on November 14, 2007, 07:25:46 pm
Oh, so Poems has an sexuality then?
I thought they havn't But I assume that you are right :)



Do you have any reason of why you insult and flamm the poetry?
Title: Re: My Poems
Post by: Diablo on November 14, 2007, 07:36:07 pm
one thing.....

CARE!!!!
Title: Re: My Poems
Post by: Golden Gun on November 14, 2007, 08:16:56 pm
OK just wounder, if you don't care.
Why did you post that?